How to stop being codependent is not a hard question as many think. When one person in a connection, especially a family, encourages or allows destructive or undesirable behavior such as addiction, immaturity, acting out, irresponsibility, or simply laziness, codependency develops.
A frantic desire for acceptance to build a feeling of identity is one of the key features of most codependent persons. This can take the form of doing things for individuals that they can do for themselves, creating a climate that fosters or at least tolerates damaging behaviors, minimizing reckless conduct, or concealing issues that should be handled.
How to stop being codependent, the difference between support & codependency
We often believe that our codependent conduct is motivated by love and concern, yet it frequently has the opposite effect. It’s crucial to know the difference between being helpful and being codependent before you “CLEANSE.”
When you assist or support someone else, you both get the rewards. You may, for example, assist your kid in applying for college they are in charge of achieving high grades and preparing their essays, while you look into financial aid. Each of you is contributing, and each of you will reap the advantages of your efforts.
Codependency is distinct in that it may appear that one person is doing the majority of the effort while the other is doing less or remaining stagnant while gaining more. Another sign that you’re in a codependent relationship is if your life revolves around another person.
In other words, no matter what, their wants, needs, and desires always come first. A “CLEANSE” will help you figure out what’s actually going on and show you how to start healing and setting appropriate limits.
How to stop being codependent; CLEANSE-ing technique:
C: Clear reactivity
Imagine you’re inhaling the perfume of lemon or lavender to strengthen your vagus nerve. Take a deep breath in through your nose as you inhale the aroma, then expel completely through your nose. Take a breather for a moment.
L: Look inward
- Take one inhalation and one exhale after asking the following questions aloud. After each question, pay attention to how your body reacts:
- “How I feel in my body right now is”…inhale through your nose…exhale through your nose.
- “Having these strong emotions now makes me feel”…inhale…exhale…
- “When I can’t control what is happening, it makes me feel”…inhale…exhale…
- “Surrendering this situation now makes me feel”…inhale…exhale…
- “When I cling to the problem or person, it makes me feel”…inhale…exhale…
Hum three to six times with your mouth closed and your tongue pressed to the roof of your mouth.
Create a mental image of harmony, sustenance, wholesomeness, and health. Perhaps a large garden with strawberries, squash, melons, tomatoes, and other fruits and vegetables.
How would it feel to pick some of those fruits and vegetables right now? Taste the strawberries and savor their sweetness.
Let’s say “Purity is something I tolerate. Naturalness is what I tolerate. Detachment is something I tolerate.
I provide permission for feeding. I agree to the release. I’m okay with wholesomeness. I consent to good health.
How To Stop Being Codependent, E: Ease
Let’s say “I am in good health. I am in a good place. I’m at ease. I’ve been let go. I’m well fed. I am no longer bound by any obligations.
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